BEFORE I TURN 20

I only have few days left before I leave the teenage years. Before my birth month came, I actually planned all the things that I want to experience before I turned twenty. Back when I was 18, I told someone that we should do something we have never done before like go to Enchanted Kingdom or watch a horror movie together but of course that will be impossible now so I decided to make my own list and do it alone. I am not excited on my special day but I am excited to share with you what I have done. I believe that turning 20 will change a lot of things to me. People around me expect me to be more mature, independent and to have more experiences. While some of my friends celebrated their day with their loved ones, my plan is to celebrate alone. It is my way to find myself, know myself better and explore my hidden talents. The outcome is good and I have love myself even better. I am not a narcissistic but one must love himself first before he love someone else. And so that is what I did. 

If you are planning to celebrate your birthday in advance and more meaningful or if you just want to have ideas what you can do before you step into the another stage of your life, here is some of what I did.

1. Eat alone

I ate alone in a good restaurant and treat myself and my stomach to a good meal. I spent my lunch day all by myself which I am scared to do before. I feel sad before whenever I eat alone. I guess a lot of us is afraid to eat alone. It feels so sad that you are eating but you are not enjoying the time because you have no one to talk to. Well, I face my fear and actually love it. I eat my food slowly, take my time and just enjoyed the moment. It is still better to eat with your friends or family but now if I have to eat alone, I will never rush myself just to finish my meal and I love to date myself again. I wonder where will I eat next :)

2. Decorate your room

Dreaming to have that tumblr-worthy kind of room? Me too. And I did! I painted my desk space all by myself, bought some decorations, put some lights and I never thought that I can do it all by myself in my entire life! My mom was even surprised that I did it. Decorating your room or your space is actually a therapy for yourself. It requires patience, creativity and skills too. Once you accomplished it, you will feel happy and good vibes are flowing. After repainting and decorating my space, I want to do the same on our entire room! Haha. So that is my next plan if I have a budget. ;)

3. Seek for your hidden talent

If shopping is a talent, I am very good at it! To be honest, I don't know what I am good at. I can't sing, dance, or crack a joke that can make everyone laugh. I am a little bit good in acting, but I have stage fright so it doesn't count. Until, I fell in love with make up last July and I thought why not try, right? And so I attended workshops and watched tutorials about make up and I never thought I will have a potential with this. I am still not good, but I have a potential. I would like to thank my friends for their unending support for me and for their patience. I think doing make up is a talent, it requires skills and patience and wonderful hands to create an art. And fyi, doing make up is not kaartehan it is a form of art. 

Here is my ultimate beks, picture is a little bit blurred. I have done her make up multiple times and we can say that I have improved.a.lot.

4. Shop 'til you drop.

By far, this is my biggest haul from a drugstore. I literally bought all the things that I want and need. Shopping is my kind of therapy. It gives me contentment and happiness that not even an ice cream can provide. It is a different kind of happiness when you shop almost all the things that you want to buy. It relieves stress and to make things even better, I didn't use my own money. I ask mom if I can buy everything that I want and she said yes. Guys, use your magic and marketing knowledge when you want to ask something big. It works for me all the time. I am not spoiled or whatsoever, this is what I like to call, compromising. I do the shopping and then I have to do all the house chores and everything they want me to do. But of course, if you can't convince your mom to do some shopping with their money, you can always use your own naman. 

My goal here is just to buy all the things I want. I think I can't do that when I turned 20 na since I have a plan to buy my first car before I turn 21. I have a lot of goals no? That is really my plan with my life, setting goals after goals. If I have achieved all my previous goals, I will do another one. Life is full of opportunities and surprises, make the most out of it.

5. Face your fear

I have mentioned that I have stage fright. I am confident to talk around people, be crazy with my friends but when it comes to performing on stage, it gives me shivers all the time. I don't know why but it is weird for me. My friends encouraged me to perform on stage. We spent a day just to practice and the fear was replaced with the thought of I should now face it. It is now or never just got real. I danced with all my heart and felt every beat of the music. Seeing all the audience look with awe and my classmates cheering for us helped a lot to slowly remove my fright. After that performance, I felt so relieved. I am still not 100% confident to perform on stage but time will come that I will be.

I have faced my fear and it boost my confidence. I am no longer afraid and hesitant when they say "tara sayaw tayo!" I realized that once you have face your fear, you will realized that there is nothing to be scared about. Fear is only on your mind. I am so stupid to let my fears over come me and I will never let it happen again.

6. Leave your comfort zone.

You will never grow when you stick to the life that you are used to. You can't always play safe in your life, take risks and be brave to face everything. When my friends and I do some fun shoot, we always just smile in the camera, make girly poses. I never do a fierce or whatsoever. When my friend asked me to do something different, I immediately said yes. When will I do such things? When I am older and I can no longer flaunt my flaws and all? This is my favorite shot from that shoot. I feel like I am endorsing the power of woman here. The picture was even featured in the artistic picture on instagram! *woot!woot!*

Before I end this post, I would like to remind all of you that age is just a number. We should all value the experiences rather than be conscious about our age. We can't control aging, it is part of our lives along with it are the experiences, the moments that we have shared with our loved ones, the unending blessing God have showered us and will continue to give to us, the lessons that we have gathered through out the year, the people that we have encountered, said our hellos and our last goodbyes. All these can't be replaced and is far more important than digits. Our age is not our label, always remember that who we are, what we have become will be our label in our life. Have a great day! Bisous.