LOOKING BACK MEANS YOU HAVE MOVED ON

Five months ago, I have experience one of the loneliest moment of my life and I never thought that I can make through it. I have attempted for so many times to push myself forward but I haven't. Then I made a post and all of a sudden, the pain in my heart slowly vanished. I have moved myself without even forcing it. I just let all the pain get through me 'til I can't feel it anymore.

Heartbreak is one of the painful thing that a person can feel on his entire life. It stops your whole world, crushes you deep inside leaving you with nothing but your broken self. The initial thought would be "who will fix me now?" or "how will I continue my life now that you are gone?". It is normal, I swear. And why am I talking about this, you ask? Because I don't want someone to suffer alone. I don't want to know that someone is going through this kind of pain without someone supporting him or her. It causes depression, anxiety, feeling of being left behind and it also affects the overall health of a person. The worst thing is that, it could cause suicidal. I am very thankful that I have opened this up to my family and some close friends. If not, I may still suffer from what I thought an unending suffering.

But the magical thing about heartbreak is the process of healing. Though it gives us bad effects, it also gives us time to know ourselves better. To know our worth and we realized in the end why it happened. It makes us closer to the people that really matters to us like our family and keep us away from the people that will no longer benefit in our lives. I will always believe that everything happens for a reason.It may be unclear for now but that time will come that all your doubts and questions will be answered or if not all, it is because you no longer care to know for the reasons.

It is hard to wake up every morning feeling that a part of yourself is gone for good and you sleep at night crying so hard, you can't barely breath. It is  torturing me emotionally and mentally. There is no formula on how to move on. You'll just find it out on your own when the time comes that you realized that it is now time to get yourself up and fix your pieces.

The process is never easy, there are times when I have to forced myself to do something just to keep me busy and forget about the situation but my brain won't cooperate with me and give me this 2 am kind of thoughts. Sometimes, I will rush to go home and just sleep or watch cartoons just because I don't want to stay at school where there is a possibility that we will meet each other face to face again. I even talked for some close friends for hours just to say the exact things I have been talking about since day one. (If you guys are reading this, I would like to say thank you so much for listening and encouraging me) Also, sometimes I just stare blankly on the television or on a book and I will feel that my face is wet. I didn't noticed that I am crying unconciously.

Heartbreaks are so devastating. It sucks all the good vibes that you have in your body and leave you with nothing but it also the time to refresh yourself and your memories. It is hard to put yourself back again but once you made it, you can look back with your past smiling not because the kilig is back or whatsoever but because you put yourself back on the track. And that is the sign that you have moved on. <3

If you are suffering or experiencing heartbreak or any sad moments right now in your life, feel free to comment your situation below or talk to me. Message me on facebook, I will gladly help you with open arms <3